If I were brave, I wouldn't have squashed the feelings, dove into trash TV and MMOs and then alcohol and then weed and then abusive relationships, anything I could do to stop living my own garbage life without actually admitting to myself that I need to transition. It would have been a good time for it, too, monetarily speaking. I remember that burning envy, my "impossible fantasy" of going through that kind of a change, as though I weren't capable of doing the research and calling a clinic then and there. I remember reading about hormones, and about the youngest person who had ever been approved for them. I've known for as long as I can remember that I wanted to be a woman. This is a bit more negative than I usually like to be, but the sentiment that makes it feel so wrong for me is this: If I were brave, I would have transitioned ten years ago.
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